When I rewrote my original F-pattern post to make it better, I made some changes to improve the clarity and readability of my written content, as well as the engagement that people can take after reading my content. I made these changes based on what we’ve learned so far about plain English writing principles and the F-pattern reading style inorder to make my introductory post more effective and easier to scan while reading. This is what I changed and why:
In my original post, the introduction of my business was one block of text with no structure to it, but in my new version I added bold section headings like “ Reliable pet care when you need it,” “What we offer,r” and “ Why choose us as your pet care providers.” It was an important change I made because people can now easily scan my information instead of reading everything word for word and trying to scan through paragraphs in order to find the key factors of important information they want to know. By adding these headings it makes it easier for readers to jump from section to section when they need to. Each section is spaced out enough for readers to clearly see what comes next and some extra details were added such as in the service section but readers don’t even have to go out of their way to read all that extra stuff, it’s just there for people who want to know a bit more, while still only writing the necessary details while leaving any extra fluff out to make it go straight to the point. My new introductory post also still follows that f-pattern so it looks and is easy to follow instead of looking overwhelming. I also improved the call to action because I mentioned already the original one was not even large enough and didn’t look like it would catch people’s attention, and the wording in it was also not as effective because it simply just said “Contact us today” which doesn’t even really make sense because the action that I want readers to take after reading my introductory post is to sign up for my email list and book a service, so the new CTA that I created was larger so it’s not hard to miss, and I changed the wording up to make it make more sense and for it to be more clear on exactly what the reader should do next if convinced after reading my content while also giving readers a value, which is a discount and free service.
I also switched from having long sentences to having them shorter and even in bullet points for them to be easier for my readers to scan through. My original version had a shorter description, but it was way too bland, “ Paws Around the Block provides dog walking, pet sitting, and check-ins.” My new version is more engaging and informative, “That’s why at Paws Around the Block, we’re proud to offer trusted and reliable pet care services in Windsor Ontario, designed to give you peace of mind when life gets busy.” My new version sounds way more natural and inviting rather than just listing the services as I did in my old one, and instead of just saying what we offer, I explained why it’s valuable to the reader in the most simple way possible that still gets the message out. And even though the new version is a bit longer than the other one, it’s still clear and flows better following plain English writing principles. (Briscoe, plain writing, slide #22)
Now that I have rewritten my introductory F-pattern using plain English principles, I learned that people don’t read everything online word for word; they mostly scan through everything, using headings, enough white space, bullet points, and larger text. I made sure to make my information easier to read and understandable to inform people about my business, while also considering their time. I also learned that a strong call to action is really important because if people don’t know what to do next, they won’t take any action and they’ll find that my content was a waste of time because it didn’t give them a single benefit, so a clear and engaging CTA improves response rates. Plain English is also not just about shorter sentences and dumbing down your content; it’s about being as clear as possible without adding any extra, unnecessary details. Sometimes, making a sentence longer but more engaging is better than keeping it short but vague.